"Better do a Fasting..."

Until 6 months ago, these words were nothing but ‘medical jargon’ which I occasionally over heard during Ryan’s stories, or perhaps when watching an episode of Scrubs or Grey’s Anatomy.

Now, since Benson’s diagnosis with T1D, the consequences of ‘irritability’, ‘hunger’, ‘thirst’, and a myriad of other random ‘normal’ kid behaviors has Ryan and I glancing at each other come bedtime and saying, “better do a Fasting (Blood glucose) check on Huddy in the morning…”

Then Huddy wakes up – STARVING – and we tell him, “we’re happy to feed you son, but first we’re going to stick your finger and check your BG!” Huddy screams, “I’m not the one with Diabetes – it’s Benson!” and then the house wakes up and Benson comes to comfort Huddy, saying “don’t worry, I’m sure YOU'RE ok.” To which Huddy softens and replies, “well, if I do have diabetes – then we’ll be Chi modzi modzi (the same same) – Oh I hope I DO have diabetes!” Snorting a response Benson states, “No Hudson – you don’t wish you had diabetes….”

We do the check, and sure enough, he’s 72, he’s Hungry – no wait – he’s HANGRY. We get him oatmeal ASAP, (and sigh with relief).

The next week, Jett looks a little gaunt, eats more for supper than 3 adults combined, and downs 2 Cups of water before bed. I look at Ryan, “better do a fasting…” so, when Jett rolls over in the morning and comes in for cuddles, he unsuspectingly receives a prick on his finger for a Blood Glucose check.  85. I breathe. Am I paranoid?

Reading this post you may think I’m a paranoid Mother. Sometimes I think I am too. But there’s a very fine line between ‘paranoia’ and ‘vigilance’ when it comes to my children’s lives. And Type 1 Diabetes is a condition that threatens Benson’s life every day. Every meal. Every night. We also worry about the long term effects of the condition on his eyesight, his feet, nerve degeneration, high cholesterol, artery calcification etc. We play the BG roulette at every meal, we carb count, we bolus insulin accordingly and sometimes we feel successful – as his BG maintains levels between 70-120 for 24 hours in a row! But then, there are days, spikes and drops in his BG could be a result of our poor calculations – or an oncoming virus, a growth spurt, anxiety, etc!

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that Benson was thirsty, peeing at night, losing weight, eating like a lion, and lacking focus. I thought in my dream "oh no! Benson might have T1D..." then I woke up, sweating at the thought until I realized - this IS reality. And we ARE surviving. WE are NOT going to be beaten.

We are learning T1D is a family condition.  I haven’t slept through a night since Benson’s diagnosis. And if you’re a sibling of a T1D – chances are – you have been ‘checked’ more than the average Joe for abnormal BG readings…

Hat’s off to you families out there navigating this condition!! I’m thankful Benson has a strong support team, and brothers like Hudson who would be ‘happy’ to share the burden of a T1D diagnosis because it would mean he’s like his big brother.

Sometimes Hudson and Jett hear Ryan and I 'discussing' their behavior. And one will pipe up and say, "I'm just really hungry tonight because I played ALOT of soccer, please don't prick my finger in the morning..."

Love all Diabetics in your life. Love them, and know they make living look ‘easy’, what you don’t see – is that they fight for their health every single day. EVERY single day...

My nightstand last night: BG check, CGM, Phone for alarms, insulin, juice, headlamp, water.

Jett Andrew 3, 1/2 yrs old

Hudson Rye, 6 years old

Benson Charles, 8 years old sporting his Constant Glucose Monitor (CGM) 

"I watched a spider spin a mystic rope

Made from his very self, and hope

I watched a human soul by gulf stand,

Praying the farther side be land

The spider's filament reached stem from sod

The thread the soul flung forth, reached God."

-anonymous-

"DEAR GOD, WE NEED A CURE"

Amen!